Saturday 22 October 2011

Trying for a baby Diary - a year on. A Cabin Crew's struggle

Hi again;
I am in Boston now ; the day I am supposed to be ovulating; I have booked off 3 days each month in annual leave for the coming 5 months so as I'm in the country when it matters. Left yesterday but will be home tomorrow so we had a go at like 4am yesterday morning before we went to our respective jobs.
My intention was not to do this of course but I had only landed from New York the previous morning and was so knackered I was in bed for 9pm; and fell asleep as he was chatting; couldn't have even thought about sex with the cloud of having to get up and go to Boston in the morning looming over me. However; it was that or waiting another month for a "shot" so it must have woken me up in the middle of the night; "the fear" of losing out and going through the now all too familiar dissapointment.
So I woke him up ; we didn't even speak; before; during or after. ;) it was just the unspoken; I'm awake; I've woken you up; its obvious by how I woke you up I want sex and so we did; It was pretty good too!! Exhausted afterward just lay there till we both fell back asleep. Needless to say he got up in the morning all chirpy and I got my breakfast all ready for me when I came down the stairs.
Anyhoooo that was beginning of day 14. I usually ovulate day 15 OR 16 so.. I will do the test ( ovulation test) when I land on Sunday ( day 16) and if its not too late I will go for it again. I will be so shattered and SO not in the mood but I have to.... sighs.
I really thought I would have been pregnant by the Summer; well; if I'm honest I really thought by March April last year! But then I put it back to Summer; now my milestone is Christmas. I'm sure you all know where I'm coming from with this one. I do not want to be here in January saying my new milestone is Easter....
Keep everything crossed for me. ( except your legs. ;) of course)
I made the silly mistake; as I always do of telling the girl I'm working alongside that I'm trying. She keeps saying ; "don't lift that; or oooh you are eating for two now " and all this crap. I'm so over getting excited about the thoughts that I might be due to so many previous dissapointments 14months and counting. She got pregnant at aged 39; she thought it was never going to happen for her and wasn't trying at the time and said she was drunk; it was a Christmas concieved baby.
Trying not to get my hopes up; but I am a positive person by and large and I do always get excited towards the end of the month... so will keep you posted

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